Wednesday, April 21, 2010

disconnected to be more connected?

I consider it a completely depressing morning to sign on and see no one online that I'm aching to talk to. Like today, one friend's already at home and sleeping from working midnights, another isn't visible or isn't online which either means she's still on vacation or she's busy at work from her vacation.

One's at work, three more are getting ready for finals. One or two are probably still asleep. So now my buddy list looks like a collection of friends from school I rarely talk to and an ex-boyfriend who I'd rather not talk to.

It's sad how much of my life gets sucked into this internet. I have true friendships online, and I've reconnected with friends online. I'm rarely on facebook, even though I still have an account (no Farmville for me), I don't play WoW. I think my biggest time suck on the internet is RPing, but I've got a practical explanation for that as well (not one that anyone believes, but I'll continue to use it).

But I've been waking up every morning with knots twisted into my shoulders and upper back. Is it from the fact that I weigh more now than I ever have in my life (being older sucks), or because I spent probably 12+ hours a day in front of a computer when you combine in work time?

I was reading a post by a blogger who'd decided he was done with it. For four months he was done. No email, no blogs (!), no google, no nothing.

In short: a death sentence.

How would I function without imdb to determine who that random actor who guest starred on House last week was, and what else I know him from? How would I find anything, make appointments, pay bills? (I got annoyed just now that I had to call the massage spa to make the appointment to deal with the ache in my shoulders from the damn computer. Seriously.)

I won't even start into how impossible it would be to even start to do my job without email.

Yet, after a few days (weeks?) would it feel refreshing? Or would I just be annoyed that my hubs plays too many video games? Would it mess up our balance of me tagging and him killing the heartless on Kingdom Hearts?

It might ensure that we go to bed at the same time, but then again it might not. I did a rare thing and shut down the computer early the other night, he still came to get two hours later. And if I stop being online who's to say that I won't be up just as late scrapbooking or reading? I did those things before I was online all the time. I still do them now.

Sometimes I don't know if it would change things. I like that hubs and my girlfriends are just an email or an IM away. This is increasingly useful for someone who loses her phone until it's dead and then really can't find it.


Meaghan said...

I feel you on this one! Last week, I had enough and just shut the computer off or was away from it at nights. But you know what? My neck still hurts (probably from studying) and now I feel even more disconnected than I did before. While I was taking a break, people were still online and now they're not because it's getting closer to finals. Probably for the best because I'll get more work done. But I feel how you can be torn. Also, massages are always good. :)

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